If you are to get married, everyone has to approve this marriage by positive feedback.. If they hadn't approved. This disapproval might destroy your relationship with them or cancel the whole thing. If you are pregnant, you see your mother in law looking at your belly as if the baby is hers. She would be praying every morning that it's a he not a she. Lets say that you got three baby girls in a row, it's a great possibility to see your husband getting a second wife to get the "boy".. that will carry his name and be dominant after him.
Yes, American divorce rate is incredibly high not starting today or last year. That is because people refuse cruel reality of being in an unhappy or abusive marriage. But back home divorce rate is lower because, a divorced woman is a shame. She is black listed, everyone start talking discussing why she got divorced and most of the people will considert her guilty and a failure. While the real reason could be that she have chosen to be a disobedient wife by working, not wanting to become pregnant or simply been abused verbally or psychically by her husband.
I am not generalizing here, it is the opinion of many Arab writers, psychologists and sociologists.
I respect your opinion but it is not the case in my country. having girls is not a problem at all. My cousin has 6 girls before she has her only boy and she lived and still living happily with her husband. And she has another 2 girls afterward. Besides, many of friends have the same story where their mothers had 5 or 6 girls before they had their first boy, and their father never complained. I don’t really see this view anymore. And many of my relatives "I mean men" who only have boys pray for a girl. And many love girls even more. And it is their opinions that are mostly listened to. They see boys as immature. And regarding divorce it is both the wife and the husband’s family who defend the girl against the husband if he does anything to his wife. They try to resolve the problem but it is mostly the woman who wins in the end. Because she easily can get everyone is on her side if she complained about anything. Although we are both Arabs but our society is different from yours in certain issues.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is my dream, I don't know when it will come ture.
ReplyDeleteI can well relate this situation to the one back home, when everyone prays for a "boy". I wanted to how high is divorce rate in Arab countries.
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